Fifteen years ago, when we were picking out wedding photos, I chose this unassuming, candid shot from our wedding reception to frame and give to my husband as a gift. When I gifted him this framed picture I wrote in the card: “I hope we always look at one another like this…”
A picture says so much – however, it is open to interpretation. No one, not even the DJ, or the photographer, would remember this picture was snapped while my new husband was trying to uncork our sparkling wine and was delicately struggling to remove the cork and not spray said wine all over himself or his bride. I looked into his eyes, and he into mine… both of us saying without words, “Please open safely…” What came of that funny, and somewhat stress-filled moment was this beautiful picture of two beautiful souls intertwined in gleeful joy, speaking without words to the depths of how cherished one is to the other.
Living in this moment each time I see this picture reminds me of how devoted we are to one another and how blessed I am to love someone and in return to be loved like that. Cherish those you hold dear. Life is too short to accept anything but…
Everyone has individual strengths and deficiencies. Not everyone is perfect at everything. Take on only what you are able to handle sufficiently. Take-out anything you cannot handle or use the deficiencies as areas to learn and grow or acquire new tools and skills.
An effective leader is someone who takes time for self-exploration and developing self-awareness. These tools are not only beneficial of businesses, but required to be a quality leader. Asking questions and doing a self-check to ascertain whether you are part of the problem or part of the solution goes a long way with problem solving and team management. If you cannot recognize there is a problem, it will never be fixed. If you cannot get past your ego to develop and grow as a leader, you’re adding to the detriment of your team. Long-term success will not be met nor achieved if you fail to look at yourself first.
As mentioned, even the most effective and efficient leader does not always have all the answers. Being a solid leader means building and maintaining connections of quality resources and support services and staff to aid in your success. Maintaining those connections is important. Providing quality feedback versus constructive criticism shows employees you value their skills and services, and are committed to helping them succeed as they strive to help the company succeed. There is nothing constructive about criticism. A ridiculed employee will only work hard enough to earn a paycheck if they feel devalued and bullied. Building trust and rapport goes a long way to boost morale and maintain those valued resources and support which help develop successful leaders
Encourage employees to give you feedback as a supervisor. This feedback helps us develop plans for our growth as a leader. Learning to be part of the solution is key to building rapport and being accountable for your duties as a leader.
Leading by example may also involve encouraging employees to do self-exploration and self-awareness checks, and ensuring you, as a leader, embrace the idea of learning from our peers in order to build a reliable, congruent team and safe working environment where employees are recognized for their abilities and coached on their deficiencies. Taking time to coach an employee who is eager to learn and grow is a valuable resource.
When faced with potential disciplinary actions, take a breath. Taking a breath is the difference between reacting and responding, and can be the factor between giving an employee a true opportunity to take corrective action and grow or walking away and potentially losing a valuable resource. Practice the pause is honoring the space between the incident and the consequences. Honoring the space gives you time to decide the adequate plan to forge ahead. It is important not to let too much time pass, as doing so can cause a lapse in recall of severity, risking the opportunity to provide quality feedback.
Nora Knople with Haven Hypnosis & Wellness LLC provides corporate coaching for developing positive mindset and structured, goal-oriented, accountability leadership.