Ever Wondered Why The Flag Is Folded 13 Times?

I hope you all find this as facinating at I did… 

If you have you ever noticed on TV, in documentaries, in movies, or at a military funeral that the honor guard folds the “Old Glory” exactly 13 times? The American flag is folded 13 times to represent the original 13 colonies. The honor guard also pays meticulous attention of correctly folding the American flag as well. Some military traditions and rituals have a deep patriotic meaning, and this one especially should always be honored, and should never be taken lightly. Government schools stopped teaching these facts about our military tradition in 1955.

The meaning of each folding is as follows: The first fold of the stars and stripes is a symbol of life.

 The second fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The third fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense and protection of our country and to attain peace throughout the world.

The fourth fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to our Father in Heaven that we turn to in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of the Patriot Stephen Decatur, “Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.”

The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge our allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The seventh fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies foreign or domestic, whether they are found within or out of the boundaries of our republic.

The eighth fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor our mother, for whom it flies on Mother’s Day.

The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through women giving their faith, love, loyalty and devotion to this country, that the character of all Americans has been molded.

The tenth fold is a tribute to the father; for he too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born.

The eleventh fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and that glorifies in the Hebrews’ eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

The twelfth fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians’ eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost.

The thirteenth fold completes the folded flag with the stars are on top reminding us of our nation’s motto, “In God We Trust.”

When the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it has the appearance of a cocked hat, that serves as a reminder to us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States during the Revolutionary War, preserving for us all the rights, privileges and freedoms we enjoy today.

When the flag is used to cover a casket in a military funeral, it should be so placed that the union is at the head and over the left shoulder. The flag should never be lowered into the grave or allowed to touch the ground.

The folding ceremony is followed by a 21 gun salute. This is a ritual that we pay to those that has served our great nation. Did you know that the 21 gun salute was determined by adding the individual digits of the year 1776, (the year of the birth of our nation) to total 21?

I pray that those who read the above will now understand what true patriotism means, and how we can never completely separate government from religion. God and country and always been a perfect blend that should never be taken for granted or abolished in the United State of America.

Surviving Life and Remember Living

*I read this article somewhere a while back and have added a few things of my own to it.  It’s important to note not all of this article is my idea my intention was to make people aware that the time we live in now is vastly different from yesteryear.  If we fail to move forward we end up in a rut.  But reminising keeps hope alive that maybe, just as in fashion and other fads, Americana will come back around and simpler times are waiting for us in the future once again.  –Blessings to you all! 

Remember When . . ??  Aahh, the memories! Let’s go back . . . Close our eyes . . . And go back . . .

Before the Internet or the PC or MAC.
Before the drug war and crack.
Before chronic and ritalin and dysfunctional.
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo.

Way back . . .
I’m talkin’ bout hide and go seek at dusk.
Sittin’ on the porch, HOT fresh from the oven bread or bisquits and butter. A time when mom or grandma would make bread and biscuits from scratch, not just scratch them out of a box of store-bought mix. (And we could snitch pieces of dough, or help push down and knead the bread, or cut the bisquits with a mason jar ring and plop them on the cooking sheet. Didn’t it smell good??)

A time when the biggest thrill of the year was when Barnum and Bailey’s wagons were unloaded from the train, and the Fireman’s Volunteer Band came marching down the street ahead of them, on the way to the vacant lots where we watched the elephants put up the tents.

Remember . . .
Red light, Green light. Chocolate milk, Lunch tickets…Penny candy in a brown paper bag. Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch, jacks, kickball, dodgeball, y’all!??

Mother May I?
Hula Hoops and Sunflower Seeds, Jolly Ranchers, blowpops, Mary Janes, Grape and Watermelon Now-Laters? (What about “Alexander the Grape,” “Lemonheads”?)

When the ice cream man came jingling down the street, kids coming running from blocks around, and eatin’ a ‘super dooper sandwich’ for a nickel.

Running through the sprinkler . . . jumpin’ in the puddles and making snow angels?

Watchin’ Saturday Morning cartoons when all that was on was Popeye, Wonder Twins, Flintstones, Smurfs.  Back when cartoons were GOOD.

The National Anthem was played and we all stood, hands on our heart, not worrying about who we’d offend.

Movies and Intermission — for all the kids to go running for whatever they needed to do most… The best part was the cartoons, Mickey Mouse, Road Runner, Porky Pig, —— and Bugs.

Then THE REAL DEAL — Tarzan, Jungle Jim, HR Puffnstuff, Gene Autry, Wild Bill Hickok, The New Zoo Revue, The Lone Ranger, Sky King, The Invisible Man, Lon Chaney, Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff — OOOHHH BOY!!!

Do You Remember That???

And a pocket full of dried peas and a peashooter??

Catchin’ lightening bugs in a jar, playin sling shot and crack the whip?

When around the corner seemed far away,
And going downtown seemed like really going somewhere?

Climbing trees and getting sticky fingers, and a million mosquito bites?

Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians. Runnin till you were out of breath, then sittin on the curb and watching the stars?

Sitting in an old apple tree and eating as many green apples as you could without worrying about the green apple trots.

Going shoe skating (without real ice skates) with friends on the old slough that froze over in winter.

Bedtime . . . Jumping on the bed, pillow fights, being tickled to death, laughing so hard that your stomach hurt?

Being tired from playin’…. Remember that?

Crowding in a circle around the ‘after school fight’, then running when the teacher came?

What about the girl that had the big bubbly hand writing??

Do you remember each of the many loves you have had through life?

Eating Kool-aid powder with sugar – didn’t that taste good?

Remember being able to camp out in the backyard or sleep on the front porch without worrying?  Or leaving the front door unlocked, or heck sometimes open to the screen door to let the warm night air in.

Just to go back and say,
Yeah, I remember that!
There’s nothing like the good old days! They were good then, and they’re good now when we think about them. We can’t be serious ALL the time.

Remember . . .
When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for “gym?”

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up? (How about before TV, when almost all families had a radio, usually in the living room? . . When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there?

When nobody owned a purebred dog?

When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a huge bonus? When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?

When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then?

When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?

When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done up, everyday?

When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time? And, you didn’t pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot!

When nobody was prettier than Mom. And scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.

When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed . . . and did!

When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home? Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn’t because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!!

When we were taught the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution for United States in school and knew what they meant, and we said the Pledge of Allegiance every day in the first class of the morning.

When a transient came to your door, you’d open the door and help them, never fearing for your life….you were just helping another who was experiencing rough times.

I want to go back to the time when . . .

Decisions were made by going eeny-meeny-miney-mo and mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “Do it over!”

“Race issues” meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly.

Catching lightning bugs could happily occupy an entire evening.

It wasn’t odd to have two or three “best” friends.

The net on a tennis court or the neighbor’s fence was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn’t matter.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

It was magic when Dad would “remove” his thumb.

Remember when Dad would thump you on the noggin, and it wasn’t child abuse?

It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn’t an Olympic event.

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the “big people” rides at the amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.

Grampa said “Pull my finger.”

Grandma would hide cookies for you.

Abilities you didn’t know you had were discovered because of a “double-dog-dare”.

Saturday morning cartoons weren’t 30-minute ads for action figures.

Do you remember when . . . “Oly-oly-oxen-free” made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?

War was a card game?

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin or Luttin’s cough drops that tasted more like candy?

Your older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protectors?

Being really thankful for all the good things in life that you’ve experienced, and having the knowledge to know that bad things were secondary and temporary, and they only came along to make you appreciate the good things more.

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!! And for some of the generations now and a lot of the older ones, they’ve SURVIVED!

Consider the changes we have witnessed —

Some may have been born before television, before penicillin, before polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, plastic, contact lenses, Frisbees and the Pill.

Some before radar, credit cards, split atoms, lazer beams and ball point pens, before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry clothes and long before man walked on the moon.

Before our time, closets were for clothes, not for “coming out of.” Bunnies were small rabbits, or dust balls under the bed, not Volkswagons, or Playboy girls. Designer Jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeanne, and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along well with our cousins.

Some were born before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, and commuter marriages, day-care centers, group therapy and nursing homes. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt, and guys wearing earrings.

For some of us, time-sharing meant togetherness — not computers or condominiums, a “chip” meant a piece of wood, hardware meant hardware, and software wasn’t even a word.

We recall when there were 5¢ and 10¢ stores, where you bought things for 5¢ and 10¢. BiRite and Woolworth sold ice cream cones for a nickel or a dime, for a single or a double. For one nickel you could ride a bus, make a phone call, buy a Pepsi or a Coke, or enough stamps to mail one letter and two postcards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 (but who could afford one?)..and gas was 11¢ a gallon for regular and Ethyl was 13¢ a gallon.

We could recognize the “make and year” of a car from a distance, be it a Ford, Lincoln, Mercury, Cadillac, LaSalle, Chevy, Pontiac, Buick, Chrysler, DeSoto, Plymouth, Dodge, Packard, Graham-Paige, Hupmobile, Cord, Auburn, Hudson, Nash, Studebaker, Willys, a host of others now gone, and of course, the Crosley. We could sit on the running boards, fenders or the bumpers. The bumpers could really withstand a bump, and an “air bag” referred to “somebody’s mother-in-law,” or a congressman or senator.

All the boys wanted a roadster, and if you didn’t have a Duece or A-bone, you weren’t “in”. And the best place to be with your gal was in the rumble seat when you double dated.

You could get a FULL breakfast of coffee, juice, 2 eggs, hash browns, a slab of ham or sausage or four pieces of bacon, toast and jelly for 39¢ !!!

Remember when GRASS was mowed, Coke was a cold drink and POT was something you cooked in. ROCK MUSIC was Grandma’s lullaby and AIDS were helpers in the Principal’s office.

We certainly were not before the difference between the sexes was discovered, but we surely were before the sex change, we made do with what we had. And maybe some were the last generation that thought you needed a husband to have a baby…

What Better Reason To Celebrate???

We’re not perfect but God did not create us to be so.  We sin, we make mistakes.  Treasure the moments, the good, the bad and the WTF!  For it is in those moments we remember what it is like to live (or survive).

Dear God,

So far today, God, I’ve done alright. I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over-indulgent. I am very thankful for that.

But tomorrow God, I am going to get out of bed, And from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot more help.


Finding Freedom In Saying NO- for all the yes people in the world

Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice.When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word “no” may even become your default response for some time. When you see that life moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance.

There is nothing inherently wrong with acceding to the requests others make of you, provided these requests do not infringe upon your health or your happiness. Keep in mind that it is only when you feel you have the legitimate right to say no that you can say yes with utmost certainty, sincerity, and enthusiasm. While saying yes almost always has a cost, you can feel good about offering your agreement when your reasons for doing so are rooted in your individual values and your appreciation for the appeal before you.

How Will You Live Today?

How will you be remembered?

If today is your last today, how will you be remembered?  What will people say about you and your life?

I apologize if my blogs and bulletins have a morbid overtone lately, that is not my intention.  My intention is to make sure we are all living the life we would want to live and be remembered for.

Are you truly happy?  Have you experienced true joy and bliss?  What is your miracle today?  For some it might be just waking for another today.  But in all seriousness, what is your miracle for today?

What lesson has this today taught you?  And did you experience joy?  After all is said and done, isn’t it our lessons that fulfill our live’s purpose?  And isn’t it important that we lived the life we deserved as well as experienced utter joy and bliss?  That is what I believe.  How about you?

For me, START LIVING THE LIFE YOU DESERVE is more than a motto for my company.  Its a mantra.  I’m human.  Some days are better than others.  I still have to make a decision each day when I wake as to whether or not this will be a good day or a bad one.  I choose good always.  There are things that do come up during the day that turn that view point, but the important thing is that I not make that one thing be what I dwell on entirely.  I do not let that one event or a series of disappointments throughout the day define what my today will be.  Because whenever my last today is, I want to live the best today I can.

Chose your battles.  Most of the time the win comes in seizure.  Failing to fight is not so much a retreat or a surrender to your opponent but a win because you chose not to allow someone get under your skin.  You chose to walk rather than continue to hound and slander.  Bygones and all that.  That is where you win.  Because knowing you made your point with grace is better than being consumed with always being right and making your today be about a mute point or ‘beating a dead horse’ so to speak.

I choose to have an opinion but choose not to argue it.  I choose to be right in my mind even if my opponent believes otherwise.  I choose for today to be the best today ever up until this point in time.  I choose to live this life the best I can. I choose because I can.  God bless America and God bless you and keep you always.

 In love, light, peace and grace….

I Am ME. That’s All I Can Be.

I have this tendency to believe that whatever happens with me has happened to someone somewhere before. And if that person has successfully lived it out, well, so can I!It all boils down, whether I have the willpower and discipline to do so. More than once, now, I have been forced into a situation which looks like it has no solutions, no escape, no way out! And then somehow I have found myself, out of this situation. It surprises and amazes me, how easily I am ready to give up and yet somehow seem to stick it out! I amaze myself at my capacity to prove myself wrong.

All images I has harboured about myself as a child, and believed in the woman I was going to grow up to be are so different from the person I am today. Now I can blame it on circumstances, or accept it as a consequence of my decisions.

Whichever way you look at it, I am chiseled out now, have lost all the soft corners. I am as cynical as the world I refused to want to be a part of. I am every bit the hypocrite I hate being. And yet at the end of it all I am me, and I am proud to be me.  This is all I can be.  Is just to be me. 

I do own Jesus as my Savior but being me is not without sin.  We are all sinners.  It is a hypocricy to think otherwise.

Each day I wake and thank God and I am no longer amazed at my abilities because I know through God I can do anything.  In God I am unstopable.  Following my own path and trying to stay true to my beliefs vs what I am told I should believe or still believe ideas that were forced on me as a child or in my first marriage fight with me so much its haunting. 

I hold firm to who I am though.  In God and through God all things are possible.  I know this.  I have been force fed lies and half truths and fought to get where I am today and am all the better for it.  Thank you God for that! 

I am me.  True to form.  Crabby.  Whiny.  Frustrated.  Loving.  Caring.  Hard working.  ME !

Expect nothing more and you’ll get nothing less.  God doesn’t, why should you?

The Person I Am Today

What came first, the parent or the working parent?  If you broke that questions down between the two parental types; mom versus dad, it might make this question easier to answer.  The mom came before the working mom.  (Obviously, the mom and dad thing happen at the same time, if you get what I mean)  You become a parent whether you are employed or not.  Statistics in welfare show that.  Otherwise, social services would not be necessary if this were untrue.


I once heard on a talk show that being a single parent or a stay at home mom is hard.  I take nothing away from either of them.  I have been a single mom.  I have been a stay at home mom.  And as I type this, my 11 year old is behind me on the couch vomiting.  I am supposed to be at my job today.  My first job.  You see, I have three or 12 if you want to break it down.  Of the paying jobs I have, I am a Senior House Manager and Life Skills Educator for a local transitional housing facility in my hometown of Norwalk, Ohio.  We work with women and their children who are homeless.  Then I am a certified master hypnotherapist.  I run my own practice out of my home and do talks, seminars, etc. for the general public on various different things.  So that’s two- for those keeping count. 

Then I am a mother times three.  That’s would be three jobs under one title.  Each child with its own personality, own needs and desires, it takes special managing on my part to take their potential and mold it into more.  To guide them toward the person they will inevitably be.  We are up to five now, right?  Then I am a wife and for those of you who personally know my husband, it IS a job in and of itself.  My husband is wonderfully funny, energetic, spontaneous, and handsome.  But sometimes keeping up with a husband nearly five years my junior is work.  And then I am a daughter and again, for those of you that know my mother, depending on the day…well, we all have mothers and I am one, so I will leave the rest of that comment up to interpretation.  

I am a sister and my brother has needed guidance all his life but I have just now been patient enough to deal with his antics without smacking his senseless.  That you give us a total of eight, I do believe. 

I am a niece and sometimes the family peace keeper or in some very strange way I feel like the sane one in the group, depends on the day and the crisis.  And depending on which person I am counseling the job number could be greater than twelve.  I am a minister and I work at a local nursing home doing healing services to those in need.  I am an aunt but most of my nieces and nephews I have not seen in years.  It has been a chore and tiring effort to be able to see my brother’s daughter, Audrey.  I miss her greatly and wait for the day we can re-connect again.  Lastly, I am a friend.  Which falls into a job description of all the above tasks.  Mothering, counseling, helping, hand holding, praying, etc.


I forgot a group but not intentionally.  I am someone’s in-law once again.  Or former in-law.  Now the former in-law part is more difficult than I would like but this comes with being formerly married.  My ex-husband and his family do little to make my life easy and at times my kids end up feeling like they less than matter.  Its sad and true.   My husband and I do our best to make them know that you cannot control what another person does or says.  All you can do is be you and be proud.  The in-laws part of it has been relatively easy.  (With the exception of one’s wiry grandmother  J)  My in-laws live 380 miles away (most of them, some farther) and I love it when I get to see them and I enjoy their company.  They have embraced me and the kids whole-heartedly.  Even in-laws that far away could make life difficult, I’m sure.  But mine are the best.  I couldn’t ask for better in-laws.  They make daughter-in-lawing ( I made a new word) easy.


Now, some of you may be taken aback by this or offended and think, ‘I am her friend or her aunt or her co-worker, if it feels like work, maybe I just won’t bother her.’  I would hope this piece would not be interpreted in that way.  If it is, then maybe none of you know me at all.  I love all the people I have come in contact with.  Even the ex-in-laws and the wiry grandmother-in-law.  These people that touch your lives daily; from stock boy at the grocery store to the child you tuck in at night, they ALL give us meaning, our lives meaning and everything happens for a reason.  We touch everyone and everyone touches us.  Its how we chose to react to their presence in our lives that defines who WE become.

So, being a working mother to me is just as difficult as being a single mom or a stay at home mom.  Each duty has its own unique way of teaching me, molding me and delivering to you the person I am today. You laugh, I’m sure. (Who is this person and how’d she become so philosophical?) 

Whether I was a single mom, a married mom, a divorced mom, a stay at home mom or a mom employed elsewhere, I would still be a wife possibly, an aunt, a sister, a niece and a friend.  For these jobs, I could not be paid enough to make it worth taking all the insanity away from me.


Blessings to you and yours.  Hug the person to your left and the person to your right and tell them THANK YOU for making me the person I am today.  Remember, its because each millisecond of each moment is the catalyst for the next.  God loves you and so do I.



Mother Clutter

**God determines who walks into your life…it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.  God doesn’t intend for them to be in our lives forever.  It’s the lessons in those relationships He intends for us to keep.

Mother Clutter

Feeling anxious about throwing away a perfectly good whipped topping bowl?
Does going to bed without doing the dishes leave you sleepless with guilt?
Are you feeling like a failure because your apartment is a mess?

Take a minute and revel in the notion that this is not your fault—it’s your mom’s. Okay, back to reality. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is only you can fix it. Sometimes in order to address a problem, we need to know where it came from first.

For many of us, we hear our mother’s voice somewhere in our subconscious telling us not to be wasteful or messy and to clean our rooms. Mothers who take their parenting seriously understand it is their responsibility to teach us the rules of the adult world and how to take care of ourselves.

When moms do their jobs well they instill in us a Superego. This is part of the Id-Ego-Superego construct put forth by Freud. The Id is the part of us wants to satisfy basic urges like food and sex. The Superego is our conscious that tells us what we “ought” to do. Our Ego is stuck in the middle, trying to satisfy with Id within the rules of the Superego.

My favorite example of how the Id-Ego-Superego all work together was presented by Dr. Narina Nunez while at The University of Wyoming. This is very much a paraphrase but it went something like this:

You see an attractive person.  Your Id says, “I want to have sex right now.” Your Superego says, “Sex before marriage is wrong.” Your Ego says, “Well, at least let’s go over there and say ‘hello.'”

Following this idea, when we come home and kick our shoes off, drop our coat on the floor, and leave dirty dishes in front of the television, we have completely given in to our Id. The Id hates rules. The person with an overly strong Superego is an anal retentive person, which we have all had to deal with in our lives or very well might be them.  The Superego believes that following the rules and “being good” proves an individual to be worthy of love and respect.

When it comes to clutter, let your Ego do the talking. Don’t let everything go, but don’t worry about perfection. I am a firm believer in the idea of “good enough.” My friends will often comment on how clean my house always is. I look around and see dozens of things I need to do when I can get to them, like washing the blinds or cleaning the ceiling fan. However, if other people can look at my house and things appear clean and orderly, it’s “good enough.”

My mother’s voice is quite insensible. My Superego is intact, but I do not think it rules my Ego with an iron fist. I know that many people do not have the astounding good luck to have been raised by reasonable people. If your mother’s voice is too loud and demanding, nothing you do is “good enough.” This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure. It can also lead to unrealistic expectations.

These problems can result in one of two extremes: Breaking your back trying to keep your living space perfect or simply giving up because it will never be “good enough” to satisfy your Superego. This is when the emotional consequences of clutter can come in.

My advice: Unless you and your mother still live together, it is time for your voice to be louder than hers in your head. Take the good lessons she taught you, decide what you believe is reasonable for you and start managing the stuff in your life the way you want to, not the way you think you should.

Remember:  you are YOU, and NOT your mother!

Six Steps To Gaining Self-Worth

Step One




1.  Being in control of your own behavior.  Stop blaming others for all the reasons your life has gone wrong and move on.  Only you can change you.


2.  Being trusted with important jobs.  Part of being responsible is being able to start a task and see it through to the finish.  Every job is important.  Remember that.  From the fry cook to the fireman and the peanut seller to the President.  We all have a purpose.


3.  Having your work finished on time.  Again, start to finish.  No space in between.  When you procrastinate you become stagnate. 

4.  Doing your part when working together.  Being responsible means its time to grow up and stop putting everything off on others and taking the credit.  For example:  You still live at home with Mom and you lean on her for every thing in your life and you’re 30.  When you are going to do your part and live your life and let Mom live hers?


Step Two




1.  Treating others the way you want to be treated.  The Golden Rule.  It’s simple.  You’ve heard the saying, “What goes around comes around.”  It’s karma.  If it happened to another, it’s could happen to you and if it happened to another because of you, it WILL happen to you, eventually. 

2.  Showing kindness and consideration.  Stop cursing in public.  Have manners. No one has manners anymore.  People curse, act out and are rude just to be that way or to gain a reaction from others.  Be polite.  Home is for whatever you do behind closed doors. Use common sense.  If you wouldn’t act that way in front of your mother then just don’t.


3.  Liking yourself enough to be yourself.  Does being yourself mean acting out like in the above?  Perhaps you think so, most likely its putting on a front for something you refuse to deal with properly.  Look in the mirror.  What do you see?  Is the person looking back you or just a shell of what God intended?



4.  Accepting others for who they are.  WOW!  Can anyone REALLY do that?  Yes, anyone can.  Some people in life are just crotchety and bitter and they are convinced that nothing in life can or will change that.  If they can accept that, so can you. 

Does that mean you have to include that person in every aspect of your life?  No.  Distance makes the heart grow fonder I have heard.  Whether that be another state or another state of mind.  Accepting them for who they are and knowing you can only change you will save you a lot of stress.  If they go their entire lives and they never catch on to the fact that they do not have to be that way.  It’s sad, yes.  But its their life.  Live yours!


Step Three




1.  Saying nice things and sharing compliments.  Don’t wait for someone to say something nice to you.  You start.  Trust me when I say, there is satisfaction in letting others know when they are appreciated or when they look nice or they do something well. 

2.  Being considerate, kind and respectful in all your actions.  Again, you are in charge of you.  No one can make you feel something.  No one can make you do something.  You have a choice to confront (and there are times where that will be necessary) and there are times when you need to walk away.  Choose your battles.  Sometimes saying nothing can be the most forceful thing of all.


3.  Lending a helping hand to those around you.  The only time you should ever look down upon a person is if you are giving them a hand up.


4.  Being the person others can count on.  That does not mean you have to run out there and save every soul you encounter.  Knowing you have integrity and heart are two characteristics that will enforce your self-worth. 

Step Four




1.  Achieving goals through commitment and hard work.  No one is going to hand you anything in life and if you’re lucky, they won’t.  There is something very uplifting about achieving a goal that you stuck with, never gave up on until you got it.  Having it given to you takes the blessing and the lesson out of getting there.


2.  Giving your best in everything you chose to do.  Give your 110%.  If you have done everything within your power and you still are not even close to being where you had hoped, re-assess your goal.  Maybe you need to break it down in to smaller steps to be able to achieve it.  Sometimes we see the finish line and set our goal plan to fly when we can only afford to walk.  We want to hurry up and get there and we forget that change takes time.


3.  Trying without giving up or giving in.  There may be times when things are not going according to plan and that’s ok.  It’s part of the lesson.  You will not know the whole lesson until you have reached the intended goal.  Never give up or give in.  RE-assess the situation.  Take a step back in order to go around the road block.  Detours are life’s way of showing us that there’s more than one path to go.


4.  Making the most of any situation.  Living life instead of letting it live you.  Living for YOU instead of all those around you.  Laugh at yourself.  It’s the best medicine there is.


Step Five




1.  Being truthful to others.  What point is there to lie about anything.  The Laws of the Universe come back to bite you in the butt eventually.  And besides, you spend more time and energy focused on the lie and how to keep it going by adding to it and making it seem real than it would have to just be truthful in the beginning.  Only in truth are there any real details and you don’t have to make them up.  You just have to remember.


2.  Being truthful to yourself.  Same as above.  See things for what they REALLY are.  There is nothing wrong with seeing things how you would like them to be and setting forth some action to make that your reality.  Live in the now.


3.  Doing what’s right regardless of who’s around.  That is the definition of INTEGRITY.  Something a lot of people lack.  What are your beliefs?  What do you stand firm on?  Being a person of integrity should be on that list.


4.  Being someone others can trust.  What a concept!  Trust issues 80% of the time come NOT from being able to trust others, it comes from lack of trust within.  If YOU can’t trust you, how can anyone else?


Step Six




1.  Making every decision count.  Moments in life will happen where we might not be able to make a decision carefully.  But we must make it count.  The end result is just as important as the process it takes to get there.


2.  Thinking everything through responsibly.  As in the above example, moments in life may arise and we may think irrationally.  Try to weigh the pros and cons in any situation when possible to gain clarity on the situation.


3.  Exercising your freedom to choose.  One of your civil liberties.  If you choose not to choose, do you still make that choice?  Choices are the one thing no one can take away from you.  I hear people say, “I had no choice”.  Sure, you always have choices.  The outcomes may not always be ideal from choices that can be made versus choices that are made.  But you still have a choice.


4.  Deciding what is right and doing it.  Taking the slogan from Nike (TM) ‘JUST DO IT’  Whatever IT is.  Would you rather spend your life getting stagnant and living in a rut of total darkness and decay or live a life of color and promise and hope for a better tomorrow because YOU got up and got out of bed and DID something.  Anything.  If all you did was get up, you did something and that choice was yours to make and you made it.


Peace, love, light, LIBERTY AND CHOICES  to you all.


What We Do Matters


Labor Day is a special holiday set aside to honor workers and the contributions that they make to their jobs and to society.

The History of Labor Day
There is some doubt and confusion as to when or by whom Labor Day was started. Here are some points of importance to how Labor Day Started.

  • April 15, 1872 – Toronto Trades Assembly (TTA) (possibly the original labour body in Canada) organized the first North American “workingman’s demonstration”. Some 10,000 Torontonians turned out to watch a parade and to listen to speeches calling for abolition of the law which decreed that “trade unions were criminal conspiracies in restraint of trade”.
  • September 3, 1872 – Members of seven unions in Ottawa Canada organized a parade that stretched for more than a mile long. The parade stopped at the home of Prime Minister Sir John A. MacDonald. They brought him into a carriage and marched to the Ottawa City Hall by torch light. The Prime Minister was aware of the discontent of workers with the laws which made unions illegal so he made this declaration that his party would “Sweep away all such barbarous laws from the statute books”. These laws were repealed by Parliament later that year and the tradition of holding parades and demonstrations was continued on into the early 1880’s.
  • July 22, 1882 – The Toronto Trades and Labour Council (the successor to the TTA) organized the annual demonstration and parade. Peter J. McGuire of New York was invited to attend and speak at this occasion.
  • 1882 – Matthew Maguire, later secretary of Local 344 of the International Association of Machinists in Paterson, N.J. proposed a Holiday for Labor while serving as secretary of the Central Labor Union in New York.
  • 1882 – Peter J. McGuire, general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners and a co-founder of the American Federation of Labor suggested a day to honor workers.
  • September 5, 1882 – The Central Labor Union held its first Labor Day holiday in New York City. A second Labor Day was again held a year later on September 5, 1883.
  • 1884 – The first Monday in September was selected as the holiday and the Central Labor Union urged similar organizations in other cities to also celebrate a “workingmen’s holiday” on that date.
  • February 21, 1887 – Oregon passed the first bill to become law making Labor Day an official holiday.
  • June 28, 1894 – The U.S.A. Congress passed an act making the first Monday of September of each year a legal holiday in the District of Columbia and the territories including all Federal workers in all states. The individual States still had to enact their own legislation which 31 States had done already by this time.
  • July 23, 1894 – The Canadian Government enacted legislation making Labour Day, the first Monday of September of each year into a national holiday.

Regardless of who, where or when Labour Day was started, it is now an important holiday which is now celebrated in many different countries. 

Even though Labour Day was born through the activities of the trade unions, which are still holding demonstrations and picnics on Labour Day, this is a holiday to be celebrated by ALL who labour and who’s efforts and skills at so many different jobs to give us the materials to fulfill all of our wants and necessities in society.

Thank you to all of you, who’s job it is to make this world go ’round.  Whether you are a soldier, a banker, a policeman, firefighter, social worker, healer, minister, teacher, maintenance worker, factory worker, cook, hotel employee, mechanic, accountant, doctor, nurse, lawyer, mail carrier, newspaper person, gas station attendent, fast food employee, grocer, baker or a candlestick maker… you make the world go ’round. 

 Babysitters, stay at home mom’s and dad’s, little league coaches and others that donate their time without much reward, you too are thanked because what we all do matters! 

God has given us ALL a purpose.  He wants us to prosper and live the life of abundance He has created for us.  It is up to us to pull the abundance in to us.  Work, prayer and giving of ourselves will indeed create prosperity and abundance for us in our lives.  Life is not lived by material things alone; however.  There are riches waiting for us in the place which God has created.  We will be rewarded for our work both here and in Heaven.

Whatever it is you do, know that you matter!  Your work matters!  Even on days when it seems like what you are doing is somehow pointless, know that it affects two more people, other than yourself.  You matter! 

There is a more important lesson to be learned here.  In Labor Day, we take a day off and BBQ, hang out with friends and enjoy the extended weekend as a means to celebrate and be rewawrded for the work we do all year long to make this world go ’round.  But when the job we do becomes less important than the title we hold or the money we make, it may be time to move on.  When you suffer burn out its impossible to do an effective job for the employer who employs you or the people you may serve. 

You matter, to someone and the job you do matters to more than one someone.  Labor Day celebrates the work we do and gives us that extra day…we owe it to our employers and to those we serve to give them each day we serve them, our possible best.  Even when we’d rather not.  What we do matters more to others than we will EVER know.

One last note:  one smile can fight off three frowns.  Make each impression of yourself a positive and lasting one.

Are You Living The Life You Want To Be Remembered By?

We live in what is known as the ‘Free World’.  A land where every person has equal opportunity to live, strive to be their personal best, love, worship, work and be who they are.  Do you take that for granted? 

Before Sept. 11, 2001, many people wandered through their daily lives, just living in the moment or worrying about tomorrow.  It took a fatal and cowardly act to bestow patriotism in us.  But why?  On that one single day, we were ALL Americans.  We were ONE NATION UNDER GOD and under attack.  We all put the flags out and posted the ones our local newspaper provided for us in our windows.  We all were more attentive to many a thing.  We bought and wore anything that had to do with the flag.  We put bumper stickers on our vehicles with sayings like…’these colors don’t run’…and ‘red, white and blue-through and through’.  We all did something else.  We looked at people differently, in two separate ways.  One:  anyone who looked ‘like an American’, we looked them in the eye…said hello to passing strangers…we prayed for peace together without separation of Church and State.  We also looked at anyone who didn’t look like us as if THEY were our enemy.  We didn’t mean to.  It came out of confusion, fear and what to do next. 

Suddenly anyone who wore their clothing draped upon them, had turban-like head wear, appeared to be ‘middle eastern’ or had an accent that resembled anyone from the Desert was not of us. Again, we didn’t mean to.  We were frightened.  Untrusting.  In shock. We had questions that had no answers.  However, we know now that we still know not who our enemy IS and who it IS NOT.  We are, in our search for answers, in no different of a place than we were 6 years ago.  Possibly and hopefully, less judgmental.  See, they, who we looked at differently, had and still have their own questions and maybe if you ask them, their questions are no different than ours. 

Everyone who reads this knows exactly where they were, who they were with, what they were doing when they heard the news.  Some of us were in offices.  Some of us at home watching it unfold with loved ones.  And for some, talking with their loved ones who were aboard those planes and listening to their last words they’d ever hear from them.  Only for the deafening silence on the end of the phone as the picture on the TV was more deafening than the silence…the voice fades and becomes silent as the second plane hits the Tower and they watch in horror just realizing they just witnessed their loved one die.  Or to be having a conversation with their spouse or their child, trying to reassure them things would be OK.  And the phone conversation ends with no response on the other end as the TV confirms yet another plane has hit the Pentagon or crashed in a field in Pennsylvania.  They were there when IT happened…life as they knew it from those moments before had just ceased.  Or how about being at a bus stop in some other city in America and having the appearance of being Muslim, Islamic or Arabic.  Suddenly you find yourself being looked at in disgust as if people were saying ‘ how could you’ with their eyes.  Or being an infant child, not knowing 6 years from now when you begin Kindergarten and the life your parent or parents lead has been turned in to nothing more than an hour long documentary.  Maybe when you found out we were under attack, you were sitting idle at your desk, working a normal Tuesday work day when the roof, windows and walls of your office exploded and you found yourself and your co-workers lying under 8-10 feet of debris. 

Whoever you are…wherever you were and however you found out….you always remember and NEVER FORGET!

We were all victims that day.  Every single person here in America.  Whether citizen, visitor, immigrant or alien.  We were ALL victims.  The point is not not remain a victim.  Moving on with life does not mean forgetting.  Always remember who you are, where you were, what you felt.  If you feel, it means you are still alive to tell about it.  To learn from it and teach others what you learned.  Can we still be angry?  Yes, but if that anger consumes you and lessens the quality of your life you have left to live here, then what is the point of having those feelings at all?  Anger, when it consumes you, deadens you.  You are unable to feel anything real.  You become stuck in those moments 6 years ago, or in any trauma you have lived through, with no other purpose but to be angry.

Live THIS life.  We only get one shot at this life.  Stop worrying about how to pay this bill or that bill.  Prosperity comes because God provides.  Lift up your hearts, your burdens, your worries and discomforts to God and let Him be your ROCK. 

This year, when you remember 9-11, remember ALL of those who were here that day.  Not just the lives of the 3000 plus heroes we lost but ALL who were affected and remain affected by this tragedy.  Fly your flag proud EVERYDAY, not just in May (Memorial Day), June (Flag Day), July (Independence Day), September (Patriot Day and Labor Day), October (Columbus Day), November (Veteran’s Day) and December (D-Day)—but everyday–if you can.  If not, each day when you wake, and you thank God for giving you this new day, take a moment to reflect on what your life means to you and how you want to live it.  What will you do today to make a difference and serve your purpose?  Are you living the life you want to be remembered by?