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Love Yourself First

Relationships are hard.  People think that after a couple has been together for a while that less work has to go into a relationship.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  What usually happens is people get too busy trying to life maneuver life’s obstacle course.  They have a difficult time dealing with life, being an individual, maybe add being a parent into the mix — and forget to put effort into their marriage, partnership, etc.  But I believe the same can be said for all relationships.  A parent and child can easily become removed from one another.  Maybe it is because many children now days are so involved in extra-curricular activities, friends, social media, etc. — and become engaged socially.  So that parent/child relationship begins to change.  The child becomes more independent and needs the parent less and less.  Eventually moves out and has a family of their own.  Does this mean the love is lost?  No.  It simply means things have evolved to transcended from where they once were.  Whether you are a parent or the child, it is still important to take a moment each week to nurture that relationship and bond.  A phone call, a text or a cup of coffee.  Sometimes, that is all it takes to say, “Hi.” and catch up.

Marriage is no different.  I have been married to my husband for almost 10 years.  We have been together for almost 12 years.  We cannot manage to find 30 minutes some weeks, to just have a meal together, because of our work and school schedules.  But we try to send daily texts to say, “I love you.”  And albeit, they are nice to receive, I find myself jealous because his guests at his job and fellow students have more of a relationship with him than me.  Or so it would seem some weeks.

Jealousy is an ugly beast.  It is hard not to feel it sometimes.  We are human.  We are not perfect.  But rather than focus on the bitterness, the jealousy, the longing — focus on the real issue.  Loving yourself.  This too is important in all relationships.  We, as parents, cannot take care of anyone else if we have not first taken care of ourselves.  Nurturing the bonds with the children is important.  But you cannot love anyone else fully, if you do not love yourself.  While I would long for a shared bottle of wine, a funny movie and night of laughter with my husband, I understand, in part, that our schedules have caused a wave in the ocean.  Even small puddles ripple when it rains.  We just try to grab moments to re-connect so we can to ensure those ripples and waves do not become tsunamis.  They become tsunamis when you:  1.  Neglect to love yourself.  2.  Neglect to re-connect, even in a small way, daily.  3. Take the relationship for granted.   Ripples and waves are manageable.  Tsunamis are nearly impossible.  Love yourself and those you share relationships with enough to take time to appreciate them.  It is never too late though.  You may not be able to repair the damage from the tsunami, but you can always say, “I am sorry.” Even if saying sorry to that person is no longer possible (due to death, perhaps), you can write that person a letter and exorcise those negative emotions so they no longer control you.  You can always apologize to yourself too.  Within that, remember it is equally important to forgive yourself.   And those three words can help healing begin.

You must love yourself first.  It is essential and a critical key to embracing this life and those you love to the fullest.  Loving yourself can help you heal.  Loving yourself can help you engage in life.  Loving yourself can enhance relationships with every single person you come in contact with.  If you see someone in the grocery store and they just look beyond mad, smile.  Sometimes, all it takes is one smile to make someone’s entire day.  Think about that!  If you were that person having that mad moment and someone just glanced and grinned at you.  Just gave you the slightest, kind gesture of human love…it may make all the difference.  You could be the closest thing to God that someone experiences today.  Remember that.

Love yourself first.  It’s hard.  Relationships are hard.  Especially the relationship we have with ourselves.  We are the worst to ourselves and those we are closest to.  Why?  Because we cannot leave ourselves [physically ;)] — and in taking relationships for granted, we assume those closest to us are not going anywhere either.  Choose not to live life that way.  Choose kindness.  Choose forgiveness.  Choose love.

I found this website not too long ago. – Loving Yourself –  It talks about how we love ourselves and the relationship we have with ourselves and with God. Perhaps you may find words of healing and peace within the pages, just as I did.

God wants us to love ourselves as we love Him.  If you do not have a relationship with God, you can still love yourself.  But you cannot give away something you don’t have in you.  So love yourself first.

-Namaste-

Norkee

Love yourself and start living the life you deserve.

Start with learning how to talk to yourself better.

Here are some wise words from my mentor, the late, Rev. Retha Martin, C.Ht.

 SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER

Seasonal Affective Disorder or S.A.D. is a real and potentially debilitating illness that many people fight year after year.  This ailment is easily combated if you recognize the signs early enough and know what to do about them.

Below are some ways to help get you through the WINTER FUNK.  This is also straight from my lessons.  I hope you all get out of it what I put into it.

S.A.D. = Seasonal Affective Disorder

S.A.D. is a real and true affliction.  If not dealt with properly, it can lead to serious health issues.  If you are in a deep funk you cannot pull yourself from, please seek help from your family doctor or another trained professional.

In the winter, when the days get shorter (light wise) and it gets dark very early, many people experience symptoms of depression ranging from light to severe.  While you can’t change the natural pattern of night and day, there are several effective ways of dealing with it, and some won’t cost you any money!

 GET HAPPY: Light boxes 

Light boxes are a traditionally recommended way to brighten your mood during the darker times of the year. Many specialists say that by subjecting yourself to intense light for a few minutes each day, you’ll feel better and more refreshed.

GET HAPPY: Holiday Lights, Fun, Decorative lights 

In the winter I love to decorate the INSIDE of my house with holiday light strings. Icicle lights are my favorite, because they look great in front of mirrors, in door frames, or around windows.

Decorative party lights are also awesome ways to create a fun mood.  Footballs, Peppers, Palm Trees, to name a few; are some cool decorative party lights to help make life feel more festive and lively.

GET HAPPY: Write about it 

Journaling your thoughts can be a very powerful way to feel better about your situation. With a pretty journal it’s even more fun.

Start a BLOG.  What a better way to vent but to BLOG.  Some sites are set up so you can just have an online diary and only you can view it and others can be set (such as on MY SPACE) where you can let others see what you BLOG and perhaps give you advice on how they’d handle what life brings your way.  Cheap therapy, I say!

GET HAPPY: Alter your work hours 

If you are lucky enough to have a flexible job, try switching your work hours so you are home during the day and work in the evening when it’s dark. This will allow you to enjoy the daylight hours during the winter and still accomplish everything that needs to get done.

 GET HAPPY: Candles 

Candles are a romantic way to add a little light while still enjoying the darkness. You can create great centerpieces or mantle displays with various sized candles in the same color. Your candles need not be expensive or ornate – inexpensive white or vanilla candles create a stunning effect.

GET HAPPY: Flowers! 

Flowers are a great way to spruce up your home and add great fragrance to your house. Who can be sad when there are flowers? Find cheap bouquets at the grocers, or have a delightful vase delivered.

GET HAPPY: Exercise 

Exercise is good for you because it fills you with endorphins and gives you a natural high. Here are my favorite exercise DVDs.

 GET HAPPY: Fun and fresh artwork 

Buy yourself a new piece of art.  You can find all kind of finds either online very inexpensive – even posters can brighten up a room or area. Or maybe take up the hobby of painting.  PAINT YOUR WAY OUT CLASSES are still available at HAVEN HYPNOSIS.

 GET HAPPY: Gorgeous gift boxes 

Pretty and fun-colored boxes of all shapes and sizes are out there and very inexpensive. What a fun and cheery gift for yourself or someone else. Use it to stash your pick-me-up chocolate treats.  Most craft stores carry them too.  You could also get the brown paper mache’ boxes in different sizes and decoupage your own pretty gift box.  Perhaps if you chose not to store chocolates or other treasures in it, you could decorate your own little box and write out affirmations on little pieces of paper, place them in your box for when you need a little pick me up.

GET HAPPY: Make it movie night 

Movies can be found at your local library or you can borrow and exchange with friends.  Cuddle up with a sweetie and spend the evening in watching movies.  No Honey in your life right now? What about friends, co-workers, church folks, etc. Invite them over, make some popcorn and tell them all to bring a snack or something to drink along with their favorite movie.  What a great way to spend a Wintry Day or Night. If renting movies are not in your budget or the library does not have a good selection, then see what’s on the T.V.  Stay in bed and surf the TUBE.

Here are a few good ones to keep you laughing.  These are my favs.  I’m sure you have ones that are your old stand bys as well.

1- Wedding Crashers

2- Sideways

3- Napoleon Dynamite

4- The Longest Yard

5- Monster-in-Law

6- Failure to Launch

7- Fun with Dick and Jane

8- In Her Shoes

9- Ferris Buehler’s Day Off

10- Meet the Fockers

11- Saving Silverman

12-Most anything with Adam Sandler (Billy Madison, Big Daddy, Mr. Deeds)

 Are you sad? 

Many people get sad or depressed in the winter. Sometimes it has to do with the stress of the holidays, and sometimes it’s because of the short days and dark nights that make you feel like going to bed at 6pm ! (Not that that’s always a bad thing…)

 Do you suffer from S.A.D?

___No, I don’t mind the darkness.

___I wish it wasn’t so dark but it doesn’t bother me much.

___I get a little depressed during the winter.

___I find myself pretty depressed in the winter.

___As soon as the time changes I just want to hole up and sleep all winter!

If you found yourself fitting in to the category of the last two, then you may be fighting something other than the WINTER BLAHS.  If your symptoms seem to last for more than a month and nothing, not these types or anything else you’ve tried seems to raise you from your funk, you may want to seek solace from your family physician or someone qualified to diagnose what your symptoms add up to.

God bless you all!  Keep smiling and know that winter is just as gorgeous as any of the warmer months.  Find your miracle in today and take solace in that.  The world is a wonder!  Embrace and enjoy!

Peace, love, light and grace be upon you…

Until next time-

Norkee

From what I have read, even from this persons own postings, in my opinion this is really not about breastfeeding her child. She was out to make a social statement via her child and to gain some attention that she seems to be starved for.  She speaks of her own family blog and even took a picture of her breastfeeding in the moment she was being reprimanded.  I would post the link she previously posted for her blog on here, but she has apparently blocked it.

This is not the first time she has been asked to display modesty at the pool.  Today, it was just as hot, and here, she is sitting outside, with a cover, giving an interview to a local TV station.  Attention seeker? That does appear what it is to me.  Of course, this person may say that was never the intention, however, it occurred before, and was handled accordingly and so this young mother knew the concessions being made to make both she and the other patrons confortable. No one is saying she cannot breastfeed at the pool, that is not what I took away from it at all.  What was trying to be relayed was the hope that those concessions would have been enough to please the masses, but alas, it was not.

By concessions, I mean, made by the Parks Dept. but they were not enough for the mom in question. She refused to cover.  Others are making comments on the boards at the newspaper website that regardless of how hot it is, a mother’s milk is still apx. 98.5 degrees while others want to provide an argument that even a receiving blanket of light cover causes the child to get hot.  Really?  Not if you use the blanket to drape your breast and the child’s lips and your nipple and not the entire child.  It can be done, if you care enough to do so.  It certainly takes far less energy to do that than to continue to ruffle feathers, upset patrons who you know may be upset and to cause a scene.  Concessions were made from the previous experience with her that made it possible for her to feed in public yet display modesty.  She is not willing to work with the concessions in place to enable her rights and her child’s rights to mesh with the rights of the other pool patrons.

I could not breastfeed my children due to a cyst in many of my ducts, but coached other mothers who I am birth coach to in my other job as a certified birth coach.  I worked closely with the WIC Dept. and their breastfeeding experts and support this mothers right to feed in public and support this child’s right to be fed, but I also support the freedom of those who wish for the mother to display modesty.

Freedom is not always free. We understand that on so many levels. In this instant it means giving a little to get a little. It means your idea of total freedom may not be the definition of my definition of total freedom and alas, I, or you, may have to have their liberties compromised or adjusted in order to allow for concessions to give another person freedoms all their own.

The Firelands Area Chapter of IMDHA (International Medical and Dental Hypnosis Association) welcomes you to Norwalk’s newest forum on health, wellness and holistic therapies.

These meetings are open to the public so come and bring a friend. Live life and learn!

There are many faces of war. Some are the ones that leave to fight in other countries. Some are the ones that stay here and protect us from another attack. Some are the ones that have served in wars past that lived to tell the tales of their journeys. Some are the ones for whom we serve; us here, people of this nation and those who we serve abroad. Then there are these faces of war. The tear-stained anguished faces of the ones who will have only faces in pictures to remind them what the war cost them.This is dedicated to all of the faces.

No such thing…LOWE’s refuses to call them Christmas trees. They are Family trees.As Christians we should stand up and stop allowing people to take Christ out of Christmas! HE is the REASON we celebrate WITH our families! HE is the head of our family!If you want to call them Family trees, that’s fine! But to me its still a CHRISTmas tree. CHRISTmas has been celebrated for MANY years, SInce when did we become so sensative as a nation? When did CHRISTmas start to offend others? I do not baulk at the people who tell me they do not believe in Christ or celebrate CHRISTmas. To each his own! I am not offended. Nor am I offended by the any other religion or its practice there of. But I can make a choice. I can choose to accept that Jewish people, African people, Asian people, Muslim people, Israelite people and other nations not mentioned here EXIST, as do CHRISTIANS. As Americans, as Chinese, and CHRISTIANS are in many many other countries too! So why be offended by every thing in life? Why not accept that some things just ARE?

I hope you all find this as facinating at I did… 

If you have you ever noticed on TV, in documentaries, in movies, or at a military funeral that the honor guard folds the “Old Glory” exactly 13 times? The American flag is folded 13 times to represent the original 13 colonies. The honor guard also pays meticulous attention of correctly folding the American flag as well. Some military traditions and rituals have a deep patriotic meaning, and this one especially should always be honored, and should never be taken lightly. Government schools stopped teaching these facts about our military tradition in 1955.

The meaning of each folding is as follows: The first fold of the stars and stripes is a symbol of life.

 The second fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The third fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense and protection of our country and to attain peace throughout the world.

The fourth fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to our Father in Heaven that we turn to in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of the Patriot Stephen Decatur, “Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.”

The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge our allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The seventh fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies foreign or domestic, whether they are found within or out of the boundaries of our republic.

The eighth fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor our mother, for whom it flies on Mother’s Day.

The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through women giving their faith, love, loyalty and devotion to this country, that the character of all Americans has been molded.

The tenth fold is a tribute to the father; for he too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born.

The eleventh fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and that glorifies in the Hebrews’ eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

The twelfth fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians’ eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost.

The thirteenth fold completes the folded flag with the stars are on top reminding us of our nation’s motto, “In God We Trust.”

When the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it has the appearance of a cocked hat, that serves as a reminder to us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States during the Revolutionary War, preserving for us all the rights, privileges and freedoms we enjoy today.

When the flag is used to cover a casket in a military funeral, it should be so placed that the union is at the head and over the left shoulder. The flag should never be lowered into the grave or allowed to touch the ground.

The folding ceremony is followed by a 21 gun salute. This is a ritual that we pay to those that has served our great nation. Did you know that the 21 gun salute was determined by adding the individual digits of the year 1776, (the year of the birth of our nation) to total 21?

I pray that those who read the above will now understand what true patriotism means, and how we can never completely separate government from religion. God and country and always been a perfect blend that should never be taken for granted or abolished in the United State of America.

*I read this article somewhere a while back and have added a few things of my own to it.  It’s important to note not all of this article is my idea my intention was to make people aware that the time we live in now is vastly different from yesteryear.  If we fail to move forward we end up in a rut.  But reminising keeps hope alive that maybe, just as in fashion and other fads, Americana will come back around and simpler times are waiting for us in the future once again.  –Blessings to you all! 

Remember When . . ??  Aahh, the memories! Let’s go back . . . Close our eyes . . . And go back . . .

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!! And for some of the generations now and a lot of the older ones, they’ve SURVIVED!

Many of us, from childhood on, are taught that saying yes is right and saying no is wrong. We learn that acceding to demands allows us to avoid conflict and criticism, please people, earn praise, and prove that we care for the important people in our lives. Yet the right to say no is indelibly intertwined with the ability to make choices. When we sense we are limited in our options, compelled to say yes even when doing so is not in our interests, we are effectively robbed of our ability to choose. Growing out of this tendency to say yes even when we desperately want to say no can be challenging because we suspect that others will reject us for our assertiveness. But the reward we receive upon facing this challenge is true freedom of choice.When others ask you to take on work or do favors, consider their requests carefully. If you feel pressed to say yes, consider whether you are acquiescing out of a desire for approval or to stave off disapproval. Remind yourself often that the ability to say no is an important aspect of well-being, as it is an indication that you understand the true value of your energy, talents, and time. As you learn to articulate your personal power by saying no, you may feel compelled to explore the myriad consequences of the word by responding negatively to many or most of the requests put to you. The word “no” may even become your default response for some time. When you see that life moves forward without interruption, however, you will grow more comfortable saying no and will resume making decisions from a point of balance.