According to the Oxford Dictionary, companionship is, “a feeling of fellowship or friendship.” For some, we imagine companionship as a visual of sharing time or space with a friend, partner, pet or even a plant. Companionship is an easy, reciprocal process without effort. Just being in the presence of that friend, partner, pet or plant is enough to bring joy into your deepest depths. Sometimes just hearing their voice suffices and add comfort to your day (if your pets and plants talk back, send videos, please!). All of this is well enough and good, but recall I stated companionship is reciprocal and without effort. In order for this to be true, you must begin with the self. Your first friend and companion.
Spend time getting to know yourself. What do you like, dislike, tolerate or cannot stand for? These standards help align your core values. It also helps your people, pets and yes, plants, to know if you are their people. Commonality is the first core of companionship; compassion is the second. You must get right with yourself and own these two important core values for yourself in order to attract the right companions.
Spend some quality time with your first companion: yourself. It will make the bonds with each companion sweeter and richer. You’ll be glad you did. Spending time with yourself and loving yourself first allows you to abundantly and authentically share those qualities with others. And isn’t that what life is about?
If you find you spend a lot of time alone and really seek companionship, perhaps your focus is more about receiving compassion and care and what you can get from others, instead of what you can do for yourself. Take time to reflect on how you can best use your time alone to learn more about the great qualities you possess and to work on the less than stellar qualities that you wish to change and grow from. This work is often not without a lot of effort, commitment and sometimes, pain. However, you are worth getting to know. So make the commitment to yourself, first. The rest will fall into place on the Universal timetable.
Some people are alone virtually all their lives, either out of desire, need – because they just don’t like to socialize, or because seeking companionship is difficult for them. I believe these folks are put here to teach some of us the art of compassion. If you know someone who seems isolated, ask them to coffee or lunch. Take 30 minutes of your life to be their companion, if it is mutually agreeable to do so. Maybe they can show you how to love yourself more or, maybe you can show them the companionship they deeply desire.
What can you do today to bond more with your first companion? How can you explore enhancing companionship in a positive and compassionate way?